ATTACK THE PROBLEM, NOT THE PERSON

“If a fellow believer hurts you go tell him—work it out between the two of you. If he listens, you’ve made a friend.” Matthew 18:15 (MSG)

Everyone needs to become good at confrontation. We can’t sit back and hope that things will work themselves out in our relationships. Whether you like it or not, confrontation is going to be a part of your life, so you may as well become great at it.

Of course, the confrontation I’m talking about is win-win. In this way, it is more like coaching, especially if you are a leader who is confronting someone you influence. It is done to benefit everyone involved.

You see, confronting someone is not the same thing as berating them. You don’t attack the person. You respectfully challenge the issues, the problems, the behaviour or whatever is causing you to disagree. You speak directly to the problem and keep returning to the discussion until the problem is solved.

Don’t allow problems and disagreements to destroy your relationships just because you fear confrontation. It’s far better to face an active confrontation than to get along great on the surface while resentment festers underneath. Solving problems might get a bit messy, but it’s far better than exchanging phony niceties while the relationship goes down the tube.

Giving into the fear of offending people does not make for good relationships. Get the courage to say something and find healthy ways to let others know how you feel.