Get skillful and godly Wisdom, get understanding (discernment, comprehension, and interpretation); do not forget and do not turn back from the words of my mouth. Proverbs 4:5 (AMPC)
How do we discern whether we should trust someone? Do we look at how they make us feel? Is it some sort of internal leading? Do we pay attention to what they say?
All of those things are important, but one of the most important things to look at when you’re discerning who to trust is track record: what do they do?
If someone has a really messed-up life and he wants a fresh start, Jesus will always give it to him, and so should the church. If he says, “Hey, Pastor, I’m a drug addict. Can I go to your church?”, the answer will always be, “Of course!” But if he says, “I’ve been clean for two weeks. Can I help out in the kids’ ministry?”, we’re going to want to wait until he’s developed a longer track record of being clean, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
The same is true in your relationships. If someone was abusive to their last boyfriend but she says that she’s changed and now she’s asking you to trust her two weeks later, you are not obligated to take her word for it. She needs to build a new track record, which takes time.
Be discerning and take your time. Never allow people to guilt you into trusting them prematurely, and realize that the decision of whether or not to trust people is not something you should discern through feelings or internal leading alone. It’s something that is built gradually over time as you pay attention to people’s behaviour.
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