LET THEM BE UNHAPPY

Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking. 1 Corinthians 13:5 (AMPC)

Are you secure enough to be okay with making people unhappy? During one of your Christmas get-togethers, you may have come into contact with someone who tries to get you to do what they want by guilting you into it.  

We all make the mistake of putting conditions on our loved ones at times, but some people seem to make a habit of it. In this case, I’m not saying that you should intentionally make their lives difficult, but you need to stand up for what you believe is right.  

If they aren’t happy with you, it’s okay. You need to confront people who try to manipulate you by pouting, guilting and condemning because they are engaging in toxic, conditional love. If this person is your spouse or is a parent you live with, you’re going to need to do a lot of talking and praying. You can’t control what they do, but you can decide what you tolerate. Get some help if necessary, but determine how to enforce healthy boundaries.  

On the other hand, if you’re dating someone who has no problem manipulating you to get what they want, run! Don’t get into a long-term relationship with someone who holds you responsible for their happiness, uses anger to dominate you, or holds back love or affection in an attempt to control you.  

Set boundaries on toxic love, and get yourself so rooted in God’s love that you stop needing others to be happy with you all of the time. When you’re rooted in His love, others lose the ability to hook you with guilt and condemnation. Even if they try, you can be free.